Excuses to Insurance Agents

...excuses to an insurance agent.....

                  .....yeah.....right..........

Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I 
   don't have.
The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.
I thought the window was down, but I found out it was up, when I put 
   my head through it.
I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
The guy was all over the road.  I had to swerve a number of times 
   before I hit him.
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law 
   and headed over the enbankment.
In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home.  As I 
   reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did 
   not see the other car.
I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and 
   had an accident.
I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal 
   joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place 
   where no stop sign had ever appeared before.  I was unable to stop in 
   time to avoid the accident.
To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.
My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, 
   found that I had a fractured skull.
I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of 
   the road when I struck him.
The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.
I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the 
   roof of my car.
The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car 
   with a big mouth.
I was thrown from my car as it left the road.  I was later found in a 
   ditch by some stray cows.
The telephone pole was approaching.  I was attempting to swerve out 
   of its way, when it struck the front end.