James' Joke Archive
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funny real quotes

Quote from a recent meeting: "We are going to continue having these 
meetings, everyday, until I find out why no work is getting done".

Quote from the Boss... "I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going 
to blame it on you."

A motivational sign at work: The beatings will continue until morale 

A direct quote from the Boss: "We passed over a lot of good people to get 
ones we hired."

My Boss frequently gets lost in thought. That's because it's unfamiliar

My Boss said to me " What you see as a glass ceiling, I see as a 

My Boss needs a surge protector. That way his mouth would be buffered 
surprise spikes in his brain.

I thought my Boss was a bastard, and quit, to work for myself.  My new 
Boss is a bastard, too ... but at least I respect him.

He's given automobile accident victims new hope for recovery. He walks, 
and performs rudimentary tasks, all without the benefit of a SPINE.

Some people climb the ladder of success. My Boss walked under it.

Quote from the Boss after overriding the decision of a task force he 
to find a solution: " I'm sorry if I ever gave you the impression your 
would have any effect on my decision for the outcome of this project!"

HR Manager to job candidate "I see you've had no computer training. 
that qualifies you for upper management, it means you're under-qualified 
our entry level positions."

Quote from telephone inquiry "We're only hiring one summer intern this 
and we won't start interviewing candidates for that position until the
Boss' daughter finishes her summer classes.

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