God Bless them all

A man decided that it was time to teach his son how to say prayers, so
he spent a few nights teaching the son the basics.  After the kid had
learned them well enough to say on his own, the father instructed him
that after he was done with the prayers each night, he was to choose
someone special and ask for God's blessing for that person.

Well, little kids don't always realize that their pets aren't a person,
so the first night the little boy said his prayers, he ended with "And
God, please bless my puppy."  The guy thought that it was pretty cute.
However, the next morning the little dog ran out the door and was
killed by a car.

That night the little kid asked God to bless his cat when the prayers
were finished.  And, sure enough, the next morning the cat slipped out
and took on the biggest dog in the neighborhood and became breakfast.
The father had started to make a connection here, but decided that it
was just coincidence.

But when the kid asked God to bless his goldfish, the father couldn't
wait for morning so that he could check up on it.  As soon as he looked
in the bowl, he saw the fish floating upside down on the top.

That night the little kid ended with "God, please give an extra special
blessing to my father."

The father couldn't sleep.  He couldn't eat breakfast in the morning.
He was afraid to drive to work.  He couldn't get any work done because
he was petrified.  Finally quitting time came and he walked home,
expecting to drop dead any minute.

When he arrived home, the house was a mess.  His wife was lying on the
couch still dressed in her robe.  The dishes from breakfast were still
on the table and the father was furious.  He started yelling at his
wife, telling her that he had had the worst day of his life and she
hadn't even gotten dressed.  She looked at him and said, "Shut up!  My
day was worse.  The mailman had a heart attack on our front porch!"