Win '95 fly...

IF RESTAURANTS FUNCTIONED LIKE SHRINK-WRAPPED SOFTWARE:

Patron: Waiter! 
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be
the problem? 

Patron: There's a fly in my soup! 
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time. 

Patron: No, it's still there. 
Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a fork
instead. 

Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there. 
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you
using? 

Patron: A SOUP bowl! 
Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem; how was the
bowl set up? 

Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the fly in
my soup?! 
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your
soup? 

Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day! 
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day? 

Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day?? 
Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour. 

Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now? 
Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato. 

Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm running late now. 

[waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check] 

Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check. 

Patron: This is potato soup. 
Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet. 

Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything. 

[waiter leaves.] 

Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup! 

The check:


 Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5.00
 Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . . . . ........ $2.50
 Access to support . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $1.00