Diet during the holidays

Here is some help for those of us who are facing the holiday's holding
the plate
    Here are some holiday dieting tips that you may find useful:
    
    1.	If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
    
    2.	If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, they cancel each other 
    out.
    
    3.	If you eat standing up, it doesn't count.
    
    4.	STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backwards.
    
    5.	If you eat the food off someone else's plate, it doesn't count.
    
    6.	Cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breakage 
    causes calorie leakage.
    
    7.	Food used for medicinal purposes has no calories.  This includes:  
    any chocolate used for energy; brandy; cheesecake, and Haagen-Daz Ice 
    Cream.
    
    8.	When eating with someone else, calories don't count if you both 
    eat the same amount.
    
    9.	Movie-related foods are much lower in calories simply because 
    they are a part of the entertainment experience and not part of one's 
    personal fuel.  This includes :  Milk Duds, popcorn with butter, 
    Junior Mints, Snickers, and Gummi Bears.  Nachos, too.
    
    Happy Holidays!