Scoring points

Below are excerpts about how guys can score points (or lose them) from
their female companions from "The Game of Romance: How to Keep Score"   
from
Men's Health Magazine, November, 1996, p 110-115, along with some things
that are just expected of guys, therefore having a score of zero:

     Social Engagements
     ------------------
     You stay by her side the entire party: 0
     You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college
               drinking buddy:  -2
     Named Tiffany:  -4
     Tiffany is a dancer:  -6
     Tiffany has implants:  -8

     Saturday Afternoons
      -------------------
     You visit her parents: +1
     You visit her parents and actually make conversation: +3
     You visit her parents and stare vacantly at the television: -3
     And the television is off:  -6
     You spend the afternoon in underwear watching college football : -6
     And you didn't even go to college: -10
     And it's not really your underwear: -15

     Her Birthday
     ------------
     You take her out to dinner: 0
     You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar: +1
     Okay, it is a sports bar:  -2
     And it's all-you-can-eat night:  -3
     It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is
       painted the colors of your favorite team: -10
     You give her a gift:  0
     You give her a gift, and it's a small appliance: -10
     You give her a gift, and it's not a small appliance: +1
     You give her a gift, and it isn't chocolate: +2
     You give her a gift that you'll be paying off for 30 months: +30
     You wait until the last minute and buy her a gift that day: -10
     With her credit card: -30
     And it's two sizes too big: -40

     Thoughtfulness
     --------------
     You forget to pick her up at the bus station: -25
     Which is in Newark, New Jersey: -35
     And the pouring rain dissolves her leg cast: -50

     Simple Duties
     -------------
     You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with
        wings: +5
     But return with beer:  -5
     You check out a suspicious noise at night: 0
     You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing: 0
     You check out a suspicious noise and it's something: +5
     You pummel it with a six iron: +10
     It's her father: -10

     A Night Out with Your Pals
     --------------------------
     You have a few beers: -9
     For every beer after three:  -2 again
     And miss curfew by an hour:   -12
     You get home at 3 a.m.:  -20
     You get home at 3 a.m. smelling of booze and cheap cigars: -30
     And not wearing any pants:  -40
     Is that a tattoo? -200

     A Night Out, Just The Two of You
     --------------------------------
     You go see a comic:  +2
     He's crude and sexist:  -2
     You laugh: -5
     You laugh too much:  -10
     She's not laughing: -15
     You laugh harder:  -25

     Driving
     -------
     You lose the directions on a trip:  -4
     You lose the directions and end up getting lost: -10
     You end up getting lost in a bad part of town: -15
     You get lost in a bad part of town & meet the locals up close &
         personal:-25
     She finds out you lied about having a black belt: -60

     Communication
     -------------
     When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what
     looks like a concerned expression: 0
     When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes: +5
     You listen for more than 30 minutes, without looking at the
     television or picking up a newspaper: +10
     She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep: -10