I'm glad I'm a man

I'M GLAD I'M A MAN


I'm glad I'm a man, you better believe.

  I don't live off yogurt, diet coke, or cottage cheese
  I don't bitch to my girlfriends about the size of my breasts
  I can get where I want to - North, South, East or West
  I don't get wasted after only two beers and when I do drink I don't
  end up in tears I won't spend hours deciding what to wear I spend 5
  minutes max fixing my hair and I don't go around checking my
  reflection in everything shiny from every direction I don't whine in
  public and make us leave early and when you ask why, get all bitter
  and surly I'm glad I'm a man, I'm so glad I could sing I don't have
  to sit around waiting for that ring I don't gossip about friends or
  stab them in the back I don't carry our differences in the sack I'll
  never go psycho and threaten to kill you or think every guy out
  there's trying to steal you I'm rational, reasonable, and logical
  too I know what the time is and I know what to do And I honestly
  think its a privilege for me to have these two balls and stand when
  I pee I live to watch sports and play all sorts of ball, it's more
  fun than dealing with women after all I won't cry if you figure out
  it's not going to work I won't remain bitter and call you a jerk
  Feel free to use me for immediate pleasure, I won't assume it's
  permanent by any measure Yes, I'm glad I'm a man, a man you see I'm
  glad I'm not capable of child delivery I don't get all bitchy every
  28 days I'm glad that my gender gets more a much bigger raise I'm a
  man by chance and I'm thankful it's true I'm so glad I'm a man and
  not a woman like you