The cat and the milkman

  Little Lucy went out into the garden and saw her cat Tiddles lying on
the ground with its eyes shut and its legs in the air. She fetched her Dad 
to look at Tiddles, and on seeing the cat he said, as gently as he could,  
"I'm afraid Tiddles is dead, Lucy".
  "So why are his legs sticking up in the air like that, Daddy?" asked  
Lucy as she fought back the tears.
  At a loss for something to say the father replied, "Tiddles' legs are
pointing straight up in the air so that it will be easier for Jesus to  
float down from heaven above and grab a leg and lift Tiddles up to 
heaven".
  Little Lucy seemed to take her Tiddles death quite well.  However, two 
days later when her father came home from work Lucy had tears in her eyes 
and said: "Mommy almost died this morning".
  Fearing something terrible had happened the father shook the girl and
shouted, "How do you mean Lucy? Tell Daddy!"  
  "Well", mumbled Lucy, "soon after you left for work this morning I saw 
mommy lying on the floor with her legs in the air and she was 
shouting, "Oh Jesus!!! I'm coming, I'm coming!!!" and if it hadn't 
been for the milkman holding her down she would definitely have 
gone, Daddy".