Special High Intensity Training

     In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity
     from employees. it will be our policy to keep all employees well
     trained through our program of Special High Intensity Training
     (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T.
     than anyone else.

     If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the
     job, please see your manager. You will immediately be placed at the
     top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at   
     seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

     Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in Departmental
     Employee Evaluation Programs (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to
     take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude
     Training (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before
     they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are
     all full of S.H.I.T. already.

     If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job,
     training others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding
     Lecture List (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L.
     S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for promotion to
     Director of Extra Employee Programming (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.).

     If you have further questions, please direct them to our Head of
     Training, Special High Intensity Programming (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).
       

     Thank You,
       

     John Doe

     Boss In General Special High Intensity Training
     (B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)