Vampire and other limericks

There once was a vampires named mable
whoes periods came regular and stable
at every full moon
with the help of a spoon
she drank hreself under the table


 There once was a lady from Bude,
 Who went for a swim in the nude.
 A man in a punt,
 Stuck his pole in the water,
 And said, "Oi, you can't swim here. It's private property"


 There once was a woman from Wheeling,
 who got a peculiar feeling.
 She laid on her back,
 opened her crack,
 and peed all over the ceiling.


 there was a young man from bombay
 who fashioned a cunt out of clay
 the heat from his dick
 turned it into a brick
 and ripped all his foreskin away