Magic Mirror

  There was this man who had a wife who was so vain that she spent all of
her money buying mirrors to hang around their house so she could always
look at herself.  One day he got sick of all the mirrors so he took them
all off the walls and told her if she hung another one up without his
permission he would leave her.
She really loved him so she agreed to his demand.
  A few months later this man came home from work and went to hang his
suit up in the bedroom closet when he noticed a new mirror hanging on the
inside of the closet door.  He got royally pissed off and called his wife
into the bedroom to tell her off.
  When she saw why he was so angry, she said, "But honey, this is a magic
mirror.  Come into the closet with me and I'll show you how it works!"
  He followed her into the closet and she shut the door.  Then she faced
the mirror and said, "Mirror, mirror on the door, make my breast size 44!"
  BOOM!!  She was a size 44!
  After seeing this he started to get excited so when she asked for him to
try it out he faced the mirror and said, "Mirror, mirror on the door, make
my penis touch the floor!"
  BOOM!!  His legs fell off!