The Moose Hunter

			The Moose Hunter
Saturday
1:00  am  Alarm clock rings
2:oo  am  The hunting partners arrive, drag you out of bed.
2:30  am  Throw everything but the kitchen sink into the camper.
3:00  am  Leave for deep woods.
3:15  am  Drive back home and pick up gun.
3:30  am  Drive like hell to get to the woods before daylight.
4:00  am  Set up camp, forgot the damn tent.
4:30  am  Head into the woods.
6:05  am  See 8 moose.
6:06  am  Take aim and squeeze trigger.
6:07  am  CLICK
6:08  am  Load gun while watching the moose go over the hill.
8:00  am  Head back to camp.
9:00  am  Still looking for the camp.
10:00 am  Realize you don't know where camp is.
12:00     Fire gun for help - eat wild berries.
12:15 pm  Run out of bullets - 8 moose come back.
12:20 pm  Strange feeling in stomach
12:30 pm  Realize you ate poison berries.
12:45 pm  RESCUED
12:55 pm  Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped.
3:00  pm  Arrive back at camp.
3:30  pm  Leave camp to kill moose.
4:00  pm  Return to camp for bullets.
5:00  pm  Load gun - leave camp again.
6:00  pm  Empty gun on squirrel that's bugging you.
6:01  pm  Arrive at camp, see moose grazing in camp.
6:02  pm  Load gun. 
6:03  pm  Fire gun.
6:05  pm  One dead pick-up truck.
6:06  pm  Hunting partner arrives at camp, dragging moose.
6:07  pm  Surpress strong urge to shoot partner.
6:10  pm  Fall into fire.
6:15  pm  Change clothes, throw burnt ones into fire.
6:25  pm  Take pick-up truck, leave partner and his moose in the woods.
6:26  pm  Pick-up boils over - it's shot in the block.
6:30  pm  Start walking.
6:35  pm  Stumble and fall, drop gun in the mud.
6:36  pm  Meet bear.
6:37  pm  Takes aim.
6:38  pm  Fires gun, blows up barrel that's plugged with mud.
6:39  pm  Loads pants.
6:40  pm  Climb tree.
6:45  pm  Bear departs, wraps #$@*@! gun around tree.
MIDNIGHT  Home at last.

Sunday 
  Watch football game on T.V., slowely tearing licence in little pieces, 
place in envelope and mail to game warden with very clear instructions on 
where to put it.


Who ever wrote it... I haven't a clue but I at least thought it was funny.