Tongs

   A hot dog vendor on the corner selling dogs is approached by a 
customer. He asks for one hot dog. With that the vendor reaches in 
with his bare hands and takes a dog out and throws it on a bun. The 
vendor asks if he would like mustard. The customer says yes. The 
vendor dips his finger into the mustard and wipes it on the dog. The 
vendor asks if he would like relish and the customer says yes. The 
vendor grabs a glob of relish out with his hand and throws it on the 
dog and proceeds to wipe his hands clean on his already dirty apron. 

   All of a sudden the customer pulls out a badge and identifies himself 
as a Board of Health Inspector. He says "I'm sorry sir but you are 
closed down for unsanitary reasons." The vendor pleads with the 
inspector and promises to "clean up my act." The inspector agrees and 
tells the vendor he will stop in another time un-announced. About a 
month goes by and the inspector walks up to the vendor and orders a 
dog. The vendor reaches into the dogs with a tong and puts the dog on 
a bun. The vendor asks if he would like mustard and he replies yes. 

   The vendor dips the tongs into the mustard and puts it on the dog. He 
asks if he would like relish and he replies yes. You guessed it he 
uses the tongs for that also. The inspector is very impressed with 
this and looks around and sees that the cart and the vendor are very 
clean so he informs the vendor that he has passed the inspection. 

   However while looking around the inspector noticed that the vendor has 
a string hanging from inside his pants and out of his zipper. He asks 
the vendor what the string is for. The vendor replies "I'm so clean 
now that when i go to the bathroom i don't even touch myself, I just 
pull it out with the string. Well the inspector thinks for a minute 
and asks"how do you get it back into your pants?"

                          I USE THE TONGS!!!!