Golf Jokes

        Henry and Emma Black were up in years, but still played golf,
their favorite game.  Naturally, they were deliberate, even slow at
moving along from hole to hole.  An impatient man behind them kept
needling them to move faster, ever faster until Henry grew sick and
tired of his remarks.  "Listen, young man," he growled at the impatient
fellow behind them.  "I was a golfer, playing regularly before you were
born."
        "OK, OK," the younger fellow said, "but I'd sure appreciate it
if you'd try to finish before I die."
                                ........

        "Dennis, how come you're using two caddies today?"
        "Cause my wife tells me that I don't spend enough time with my
kids."
                                ........

        "How's your golf game these days, Grace?"
        "Pretty good.  I'm shooting in the low seventies."
        "Honestly?"
        "What the heck has that got to do with it?"
                                ........

        Two ladies were discussing the one girl's husband.  "Lewis has
gotten too fat for the game," she said.
        The other remarked, "I agree with you.   Why, when he puts the
ball where he can see it, he can't hit it.  And when he puts the ball
where he can hit it, he can't see it."
                                ........

        "Reverend Green, I must tell you that I truly admire the way you
refrain from cussin', and swearin' on the golf course."
        "Thank you for the kind words," the pastor replied.  "but I must
tell you that where I spit, the grass never grows there again."
                                ........

        "Hey, Smith, why don't you help your wife find her ball so we
can play through?"
        "She's found her ball.  Now she's looking for her club."