The First Night

The old world girl had a traditional marriage to an older man who had been
in the war.  As was the community tradition, they spent their wedding night
at the brides parents house. 
 
Having never been with a man before, especially an older man, the bride was
terrified. 
 
When they were alone in their room he pulled off his hat. Shocked, the girl
ran downstairs to her momma. "Momma, momma, he has no hair on his head!"   
"Dont worry about it and go back up stairs" was her momma's answer. 
 
He then pulled off his shirt.  The terrified girl again ran downstairs to
her mother,  "Momma, momma, he has a big hairy chest!"  "Dont worry about
it and go back up stairs" again was her momma's answer. 
 
A few moments later he pulled off his pants and to the girls horror, she
saw that her husband had lost half of his right foot when he steeped on a
land mine during the war.  She ran screaming downstairs.  "Momma, momma, he
has a foot and a half!"  "You stay here and don't worry about it " momma
replied.  "I'm going back upstairs!"