Overheard in Redneck Hell

---- You're going to have to check that weapon at that Fiery Gates.

---- I'm sorry but we are out of Old Style.  We do however have plenty of 
Evian.

---- We start pouring the foundation tomorrow.

---- No dogs are allowed in the building sir.

---- I am sorry sir but shirts are required at all times.

---- Your pickup seems to be running fine.  We even fixed up the rust 
spots for free.

---- Sorry but all our cigarettes cost more than a dollar a pack.

---- All construction positions have been filled.

---- No- your son cannot have the same name as you.

---- She's not even pretty when I'm drunk.

---- They raised that damn ketchup tax again.

---- Time for my morning shower.

---- Sorry sir but you have to pass the literacy test if you want the 
cat-fishing license.

---- WHEL- all Christian, all the time and never any country

---- Escargo and caviar for dinner again?

---- They just finished tearing down the last bowling alley.

---- And now a message from your President, the Reverend Jesse Jackson 
and his vice-president, Louis Farrahkan (sp)

---- No, the NRA meeting has been cancelled but we do have plenty of room 
in Alcoholics Anonymous.

---- Sorry but I don't know how to the make the Black Flagg tatoo.

---- Honey, could you please pickup the dry cleaning on your way home 
from the dentist?

---- No we do not carry the "spork"

---- Your Wild Game Hunting subscription has been cancelled and replaced 
with Better Homes and Gardens.

---- No sir you cannot chew that tobacco inside the barber shop

---- We now interrupt Championship Trap Shooting in order to bring you 
breaking news on the nationwide beer shortage