Little Bastard

   A ventriloquist in a nightclub is telling a series of [ethnic]
jokes.  He plays straight man while the little dummy on his knee poses
the riddles and answers questions.  

   After many of these, a doddering old man gets up from his chair and 
shouts, "Will you just knock it off!"

   Everyone in the room turns to look and the ventriloquist stops.  

   "I'm just sick and tired of all these idiotic [ethnic] jokes that try 
to make [ethnic]s look so stupid!  'How many [ethnic]s does it take to
screw in a lightbulb?'...  'There was an Italian, a Jew and an [ethnic]...'
and so on!  Well just stop it, because we [ethnic]s are proud of our
heritage, our contribution to civilization and the great intellects
we have produced!"  

   The club is silent as the old man sits down angrily.  Finally, the 
ventriloquist, in a conciliatory tone, says, "Sir, I am really sorry to 
cause such an offense.  I really didn't intend to hurt anybody's feelings 
at all.  I just want everyone to have a nice time and enjoy themselves, 
and the last thing I want to do is make someone upset.  Would you accept 
my apology?"

   The old man gets up suddenly and exclaims, "It's not *you* I'm
talking to, you fool, it's that little bastard on your knee!!"