Politically incorrect TOP ten on churches

     Top Ten Ways to Know if You are In The Wrong Church
          (author unknown)

10.  The pastor refers to God only as "Jehovah" and constantly exhorts 
the congregation to "witness"

9.   New members are required to submit W-2's for the last 10 years.

8.   Pastor regularly attends meetings at Las Vegas and Atlantic City.

7.   The media refers to the church facilities as a "compound".

6.   You discover the church *IS* BATF approved.

5.   The Women's Quartet are all married to the pastor.

4.   EVERYBODY voted for Clinton.

3.   Pastor preaches an eloquent sermon on ancient heresies and the 
elders want to make them a part of the doctrinal statement.

2.   The new member's kit includes a Bible, church-by-laws, and an UZI.

1.   The Pastoral Search Committee announces that they have discovered a 
problem with their one good candidate- she's divorced.