The night before Christmas 2

'Twas the night before Christmas
and all through the house
everyone felt shitty
even the mouse.

Mom on the toilet,
Dad smoking grass,
I had just settled down
for a nice piece of ass.

When out on the roof
I heard such a clatter,
I sprung from my piece
to see what was the matter.

Out on the roof
I saw some old prick.
I knew in a moment
it must be St. Nick.

He came down the chimney
like a bat out of hell.
I knew in a second
the F**Ker had fell.

He filled all the stockings
with whiskey and beer.
And a big rubber dick
for my brother the queer.

He rose up the chimney
with a thundering fart.
The son-of-a-bitch
blew my chimney apart!

He swore and he cussed
as he rode out of sight.
"Piss on you all!
It's been one hell of a night!"