12 days of xmas (UNIX versiion)

AN ELECTRONIC CHRISTMAS/CHANUKAH CARD TO ALL
    Lyrics by Evan Leibovitch, code by Beverly Erlebacher

    Dedicated to anyone who's left their computers alone
    just long enough for them to self-destruct:

    (Sung to the tune of something or other...)


On the first day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
 A burnt-out V.D.T.

On the second day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
 Two faulty tapes;
 And a burnt-out V.D.T.

On the third day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
 Three heads crashed;
 Two faulty tapes;
 And a burnt-out V.D.T.

On the fourth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
 Four bad blocks;
 Three heads crashed;
 Two faulty tapes;
 And a burnt-out V.D.T.

On the fifth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
 Five core dumps;
 Four bad blocks;
 Three heads crashed;
 Two faulty tapes;
 And a burnt-out V.D.T.

On the sixth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
 Six bad controllers;
 Five core dumps;
 Four bad blocks;
 Three heads crashed;
 Two faulty tapes;
 And a burnt-out V.D.T.

On the seventh day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
 Seven blown partitions;
 Six bad controllers;
 Five core dumps;
 Four bad blocks;
 Three heads crashed;
 Two faulty tapes;
 And a burnt-out V.D.T.

On the eighth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
 Eight gettys dying;
 Seven blown partitions;
 Six bad controllers;
 Five core dumps;
 Four bad blocks;
 Three heads crashed;
 Two faulty tapes;
 And a burnt-out V.D.T.

On the ninth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
 Nine floppies frying;
 Eight gettys dying;
 Seven blown partitions;
 Six bad controllers;
 Five core dumps;
 Four bad blocks;
 Three heads crashed;
 Two faulty tapes;
 And a burnt-out V.D.T.

On the tenth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
 Ten ports a-jamming;
 Nine floppies frying;
 Eight gettys dying;
 Seven blown partitions;
 Six bad controllers;
 Five core dumps;
 Four bad blocks;
 Three heads crashed;
 Two faulty tapes;
 And a burnt-out V.D.T.

On the eleventh day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
 Eleven chips a-smoking;
 Ten ports a-jamming;
 Nine floppies frying;
 Eight gettys dying;
 Seven blown partitions;
 Six bad controllers;
 Five core dumps;
 Four bad blocks;
 Three heads crashed;
 Two faulty tapes;
 And a burnt-out V.D.T.

On the twelfth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
 Twelve boards a-blowing;
 Eleven chips a-smoking;
 Ten ports a-jamming;
 Nine floppies frying;
 Eight gettys dying;
 Seven blown partitions;
 Six bad controllers;
 Five core dumps;
 Four bad blocks;
 Three heads crashed;
 Two faulty tapes;
 And a burnt-out V.D.T.

On the thirteenth day I started adapting my Nintendo for the VME
bus.