The little old lady at the bank

Little Old Lady at the Bank            by Alan Keith Carver

A little old lady entered the main branch of the Chase Manhattan
bank
with a large grocery bag in her arms.  She told the teller that she 
wanted to open an account to make a substantial deposit, in excess
of
$200,000.  Further, she said that since such a large sum was
involved,
she would deal only with the president of the bank to make the
necessary
arrangements.

The teller looked in the bag and confirmed that it was, in fact,
full of
cash. He called upstairs and explained the situation to the bank
president,
who agreed to see the woman.  The teller escorted her to the
president's
office, and the president invited her to have a seat, which  she
accepted.
She repeated her request to open an account.

The president said he would take care of it personally, but his
curiosity
was killing him.  He said, "Mind if I ask how you happened to come
into 
such a large sum of cash?"

"Not at all," was her reply. "I bet."

"You bet?" he countered.  "At the racetrack, or on
professional sports,  or in casinos ...?"

"Nothing like that," she said.  "I just ... bet.  For example,
I'll bet  you $50,000 that by tomorrow morning your balls will be
square."

The president chuckled but, seeing that the lady had the funds to
back
up such a wild bet, agreed.  They shook hands on it, and she
promised 
to return at nine the next morning to follow up, and left.

As the day wore on, the president found himself frequently checking
to
make sure that all was in order.  It was, but just as a precaution
he
cancelled his regular Tuesday-afternoon golf match and went home
early.
The next morning when he showered, he was actually quite relieved to

find  that nothing had changed drastically while he slept.  He 
confidently  headed for the bank, laughing all the way at the 
unexpected windfall that was about to become his.

The little old lady showed up promptly at the appointed hour,
accompanied
by a young man.  When the president asked who he was, she replied
that
he was her lawyer, who she always brought along when payoffs
involving
significant sums were involved.

The president told her that sorry, she had lost that particular bet,
so
the funds would be outgoing rather than incoming.  She insisted on 
examining the evidence for herself, considering the amount at stake.
He deemed it a reasonable request under the circumstances, so he
stood
up, unbuckled his belt and dropped his pants.  She proceeded to
closely
inspect his jewels for any abnormalities.

As she did, the president noticed that her lawyer was standing in
the
corner, banging his head against the wall.  He asked the lady,
"What's 
the matter with him?"

She paused her inspection long enough to glance at the lawyer and
replied,
"Oh, him.  I bet him $150,000 that before ten a.m. today I'd  have
the
president of the Chase Manhattan Bank by the balls."