Xmas in the 20th century

         X-mas in the 20th Century

  'Twas the night before Christams -- the very last one --
 when the blazing of lasers destroyed all our fun.

  Just as Santa had lifted off, driving his sleigh,
 A satelite spotted him making his way.

  The Star Wars Defense System -- Reagan's desire
 Was ready for action, and started to fire!

  The laser beams criss-crossed and lit up the sky
 Like a fireworks show on the Fourth of July.

  I'd just finished wrapping the last of the toys
 Wen out of my chimmney there came a great noise.

  I looked to the fireplace, hoping to see
 St. Nick bringing presents for Missus and me.

  But what I saw next was disturbing and shocking;
 A flaming red jacket setting fire to my stocking!

  Charred reindeer remains and a melted sleigh-bell;
 Outside burning toys like confetty they fell.

  So now you know, children, why Christmas is gone:
 The Star Wars computer had got something wrong.

  Only programmed for battle, it hadn't a heart;
 'Twas hardly a chance it would work from the start.
  It couldn't be tested, and no one could tell,
 If the crazy contraption would work very well.

  So after a trillion or two had been spent
 The system thought Santa a Red missle sent.

  So kids dry your tears now, and get off to bed,
 There won't be a Christmas -- since Santa is dead.
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